Stop! Grammar time! - featuring Igor Stravinsky

So, Trivial Pursuit. You get asked a question, you answer it. If you get it right, you get another go. If you're in the right place, you also get a token to place into your playing piece - 'getting another wedge for your cheese', as we often say.
And that's it.
In theory.
In practice, there will be lots of banter, cries of 'how am I supposed to know that?' and accusations of skulduggery. There will also, if Julie is playing, be random observations on the question, the answer, a different question or answer, or anything that happens to be on her mind at that particular time. And when I say 'random', you know I mean 'random'.

I suppose we ought to be grateful Julie didn't burst into song with 'Old MacDonald had a farm'...

Transitory Jubilations

Nationally, and internationally, there have been some big reasons for hogging the headlines in a positive manner. One of them was the very recent transit of the planet Venus across the face of the sun. It took a few days to do it, but it was easily visible to anyone who had the most rudimentary of equipment. Even a pair of cheap binoculars would have done it - although you had to take precautions, naturally. Even with a little disc taken off, there's plenty of light to cause permanent damage to your eyes. Take a look at this cunning device for eclipse-watching.

Clever, eh? Would it have been worth looking like a wally, though, just to see a little dot on the face of the sun? Well, yes. Don't take my word for it, here's a picture of Venus set against the sun, taken on June 4th.

In case you weren't sure, that little black circle is Venus, set against
a magnificent dawning sun.

Beautiful, isn't it?*
Sadly, by the time you read this, it will all be over, bar the dissection of data gathered by various scientists. The last time it happened was back in 2004, but don't get excited, because I can pretty much guarantee you'll never have a chance to see it first-hand again. You see, this particular phenomenon only occurs in widely space pairs over an even more widely-spaced period of time. Here's a good description of the science bit - with no difficult parts.

I was talking about this to a female colleague of mine last week, as we sat in the canteen at work. At another table, one of our other colleagues was sat playing a game on his phone. Most of the talk was between my female friend and myself and it was a little vague, because we were excitedly talking at cross-purposes about the transit and trying to explain it to yet another colleague.
The point we were especially trying to make was the need for him to pull his finger out and make plans to either observe the transit of Venus or book a berth in a cryogenics facility. After all, it was literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, as my female colleague explained - before the game-player suddenly jumped in and came up with a comment that blew us all out of the water, metaphorically speaking.

Nice one, mate. Science to a diamond jubilee in one giant and very uneasy step. In case you weren't aware from our last post, Queen Elizabeth has reigned over Britain and certain Commonwealth countries for sixty years now. This fact has elicited a massive jubilee, resulting in a four-day weekend for many and street parties all over.
Quite what this has to do with a planet crossing the face of the sun, I'm not sure, but I suppose I can't really deny he was actually quite correct. Her Majesty, even ignoring her currently advanced age, will never get another chance to see Venus taking a leisurely stroll across our nearest star.
Oh well.

*ZME Science (a superb general science blog by an enthusiastic amateur) has an excellent article with even better photographs, so why not trot along and enrich your mind.

Double-up Monday (pt.2); Random acts of grammar

Every now and then, Julie will attempt to explain or justify her Gems. Naturally, this is not dissimilar to using a hammer to get rid of the bug on your toe. I mean, seriously, I'm thinking of getting JCB to sponsor this site if she digs herself in any faster.

Don't believe me? Want some evidence? That's fine - there's plenty. For now, though, have a look at this one-liner;

Good, eh?
Before you jump to Julie's defence, however, let me tell you that I did wait for a good length of time after she said that, just in case there was anything else to come along and complete it. In the end, I laughed and reached for a pen...

You know what though? Now I look at it again... it sort of makes sense.

Tomorrow: Regrets and coloured cars.

What? At least it was on the right island!

The title to this one is pretty much a quote from Julie, although it's not strictly speaking accurate. Usually, the first thing she'll come up with when she sees my look of incredulity at her comment will be, "at least it was in the right country... it was, wasn't it?" And then she'll work upwards in size until she finally finds a landmass large enough to be general enough to be right.

Unfortunately, this only works for situations where we're actually discussing places. If, for example, Julie asserts that Mumbai is in South America, then she'll justify it by saying it was on the right planet. When we shift to accents though, it all goes for a tumble.

Brits will already get this, but others may need a little explanation. The comment, 'way-ay, man' is an exaggerated version of a standard Georgie phrase. Geordies live in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne (generally known just as 'Newcastle'). There's a little bit of distance between them, along with one or two different accents...

For a full size version go to http://tinyurl.com/56fmlz 

And if that doesn't help, here's a clip of people talking Welsh, and a clip of a mouse animated to a soundtrack of a Geordie talking.
Overall, the effect is like someone referring to the Texan accent in a 'Noo Yoik' style...

Trivial Pursuit Week (3 of 3); Orifices and dual-nationality playwrights

You know you've got a belter of a Gem when it qualifies on several levels...

See? Not only is it the wrong answer, but even the answer is a 'fail' in its own right. I was so busy trying to reboot my brain I nearly forgot to facepalm it...

The final Gem of the week is of a certain medical bent. No more to be said, just enjoy.

An inspired answer, but it does rather beg the question why did Julie not manage to come up with 'eyes', since they generally are found in the same part of the body as the others... Ah well.

Hope you have a nice, long Easter weekend; see you Monday!

Trivial Pursuit Week (2 of 3); Swinging wars and sexy statues

Welcome back to Julie's Gems' Trivial Pursuit week. Don't forget, in addition to the normal post here, there will be a special bonus Gem only for followers of Julie's Gems over at Facebook.

Down to business, and straight in with our first one.

Have you noticed that there are a lot of times where Julie seems to be going fine and Gem-free - but then has to go one step further. I've actually found myself literally waiting for the Gemline, and if it doesn't turn up, I feel vaguely cheated.

Our next Gem doesn't follow this pattern, but falls right across the WTF/facepalm divide.

I mean come on - who can fail to be cranially fused by that one? The reason for this was that Julie had absolutely no idea what the real answer was and decided to come up with her own, far more entertaining one. Wouldn't it be funny if the Frenchmen who'd originally made Lady Liberty as a gift to the Americans had said to each other, 

"Hey, Pascal; how high up in the air did you say this was going to end up?" 

"Some hundred feet, Jean. Why?" 

"I was just wondering who the hell was going to read what was on here. What I mean is that I could hammer in some random letters - or maybe the Karma Sutra... hehe..."

"Heh. Jean, you're insane, but if you want to do it, then go ahead. Just don't let me see what you do, right?"

"Oui, Pascal, I shall keep it hidden from them. And from you."

Hmm - I supposed it's just a small mercy Jean never had a copy of the Necromicon...

ON FRIDAY

Bodily orifices and a dual nationality playwright.

Paint it, tasty

Julie, my wife, is an absolute gem herself. What makes it even better is that her mouth sometimes goes faster than her brain and wires get crossed and then things don't quite come out as she intended. Sometimes, admittedly, there is a lack of knowledge involved too, but generally these gems occur out of sheer tongue-trippery.


In any event, sit back and enjoy the show.


This particular gem occurred late one night in bed when neither of us could sleep. Out of the ether floated this question. Never mind the fact that consommé is a thin soup, how on earth did Julie come up with something as specific as Japanese ceiling paint? 
One to file under 'random', I think.