Double-up Monday (pt.1); Potty problems or just plain potty?

You know how it is - you go out for the day, or even just for a walk. All of a sudden, you're gripped by a certain need. You brave it out, knowing it's not that long before you get back home. Unfortunately, home always seems to be just that little bit further away than you remember and by the time you do get back, 'uncomfortable' doesn't even begin to describe how you're feeling.

Imagine, then, that you fumble with a suddenly sentient key and stumble through the door. You know where you need to go, and nothing had better get in your way.
Imagine, too, that your significant other helps you along with these words of wisdom;

Do you have any idea just how difficult it is to pee standing up while you're shaking with laughter? Erratic isn't the half of it.

Stick around folks, there's another post to come today, 'Random acts of grammar'.