Where's the whatnot?

Hello and welcome to another working week. Yeah, it's been that kind of day. Anyway, shall we have another little shuffle through the teetering stack of paper on my desk? If nothing else, I can start throwing away some of the ones that have been used. Now, what shall we do, what will we find... hmmm searching, seeking, looking and hunti.. aha - this one appears to be particularly apt...

This one is dedicated to everyone in a long-term relationship. In fact I would go so far as to say this applies to parents and children too. You see, when you live with someone for a long time, you get used to them and vice-versa. Invariably, this will lead to a certain relaxed approach to things, including language. As comedian Lee Evans once noted, women seem to have a mysterious place, the knowledge of which is prohibited to men and boys. This place is called 'Side'. His argument runs thus, if a husband calls to his wife asking where the car keys are, she will say, "they're on the side". Which (bleep) side? There's dozens of them!
However, if two women have the same exchange, the answer is normally, "oh, so they are, thanks." In the meantime, the husband is stood there like a lemon wondering what the hell just happened.*

Julie is even more exclusive. Not only am I not permitted to know where something is hidden, I'm not even allowed to know what it is I'm supposed to be helping her find...

Um, no love. I don't think I do.

*Lee Evans tells it much better, naturally.