Sunday, 25 March 2012

Breaking [faith with] the legs

Julie recently began a part-time job at the hospital, after an extended period of waiting for a CRB check to clear. For those not in the know, all that means is that there's a check to see if you're nutter with a criminal past. (Useful, except that there are a lot of nutters that DON'T yet have a police record.*)

All Julie is required to do at the hospital, in case you're worried she'll be let loose with all that equipment and medication, is provide the patients with food and water. I say 'all', but it's a pretty big 'all', considering the amount of times she has to trek down to the kitchens, along various corridors, around wards, BACK along corridors upon realising she got lost and is in the wrong part of the hospital, along a different set of corridors, around the correct ward, all that several times in the course of a three-hour shift, as not everything fits on the trolley in one go.
No wonder she's bloody knackered when she gets home - especially when you bear in mind this is a second job to try and up our income. As Julie herself put it,


What Julie actually meant was that she wanted to trade them in for a different pair. Unfortunately, she got the 'tray' sound from 'trade' in her head and it went a little loopy, becoming 'betray' en route to the mouth. This is how a vast majority of her Gems are created.
Oh dear. I've just given away a trade secret, haven't I?
Never mind. There are plenty of others. If nothing else, even I haven't figured them out yet. Mind you, neither has Julie...
Tata for now!

*Not even 'Roxanne' or 'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic'...

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