Julie and the great platypus debate

Cyfarchion o Gymru! I'm in Cardiff today, on another part of the second Spikeyboy tour. And yet - I'm still managing to update, despite not having a laptop or smartphone. Ain't I good to you? Then too, there was the fact I really needed to get this Gem/set of Gems up and ready fairly quickly, or else they would lose relevance.

On Friday, Julie's Gems introduced you to a lateral-thinking young chap by the name of Scott. Apparently innocently, Scott likened the object of his friend's affections to a platypus, in that she too was unique. The thing is, what with all the different approaches by various people to this subject, all making their own Gems, I felt there wasn't room to add a photo of the poor animal, and instead gave a short description and a link to its Wiki-page.
As it turns out, this may have been a serious oversight on my part, as Julie only took away the sketchiest of ideas of what a platypus looks like. Then again, considering just how much material I came away with, it may have been the ultimate blessing in disguise. You see, Julie had read the post and was wondering about the platypus's appearance...

I mean, seriously. I'm sure I said 'mammal' when I described it last time... didn't I?

Er.. what? Time for a little comparison, methinks.

A giant tortoise - with a human for some scale.

Two platypuses - being held by a human. For scale.

So - what do you say to that, Julie?

Seriously?? Surely you can't get any worse..?

<facepalm>
We were talking about all the above while I let my pen cool down, and as I was reading them out so Julie could also have a giggle (believe me, she does laugh at herself, too), Julie asked me what the difference in appearance was, and what I objected to, concerning her defining common point. When I said that while platypuses may be fairly low to the ground, a high-domed shell is one of the major features of a giant tortoise. Sadly, one of Julie's defining features is a general unwillingness to let go of an idea.

Uh... what? Um.. I suppose you have a point, love, but I think the animal protection societies might come down on you like a ton of bricks...
Back home, Julie was determined to make her point and was busy googling images of platypuses and tortoises. After a slight confusion thanks to a rogue picture of an echidna (also a monotreme), Julie felt satisfied she had been vindicated.

On the other side of the table, I gave her The Look and reached for my pen once more. When I went around to have a look, it turned out, Julie was mixing up tortoises for turtles. To avoid yet more animal-related shenanigans, I avoided the matter completely, by giving her a helpless look and walking away.

Admirable cross-species logic.

As the title implies, this Gem involves logic, rather than the lack of it. However, as you are probably well aware, logic, when applied by certain people (politicians, people who deal in statistics, children, Julie), can be equally off-putting. And, when applied expertly, completely baffling.
Today's Gem - or, I should say, the first part of it, comes courtesy of a conversation between two friends of the daughter of a friend of mine.
Er.
I'll try that again.
At school, one day, Scott and a friend of his were talking about a certain female acquaintance, one who was held in much high esteem by Scott's friend.

And Scott does have logic firmly on his side. In case you are unaware, the duck-billed platypus (or Ornithorhynchus anatinus) is an Australian mammal, but one with very curious attributes. It is one of very few animals classed as 'monotremes', while literally translates as 'one hole'. you see, unlike most mammals, monotremes have only one hole for evacuation of waste and reproductive processes. Not only that, but they also lay eggs, rather than giving birth to live young. This means that these odd creatures represent an extremely old part of mammalian evolution, showing us a spot somewhere between reptiles and true mammals. They're also somewhat venomous and are capable of giving an unwary human some real discomfort.
When this story was related to me, I laughed and immediately declared it worthy of appearing here. My young friend then spoke to Scott, giving him the good (?) news.

Pretty insistent, isn't he? Mind you, I'm not too sure about his life ambition. I wouldn't mind being there when he tells his careers master what he wants to be. The look on the guy's face ought to be worth the travel costs alone.
Of course, Julie agrees with Scott, expressing it in her own inimitable manner.

Logical, if not entirely eloquent, love.

When you walk in the room

“I can see a new expression on my face
I can feel a strange sensation taking place
[blah, blah, blah]
Every time that you.. walk in the room”

Well, I can guarantee there was a new expression on MY face when I walked into the kitchen only to hear my darling wife utter these words;

So very glad I had, moments before, heard the microwave *ping* as it announced Julie's meal had been cooked. Nevertheless, I still hastily assembled a carefully blank expression before discreetly making sure what the hell she was talking about.
Yes, it was  her food.

Stop making sense (part II)

Picture this - we're having a conversation, when Julie seamlessly slips into a logic-crunching ramble-a-thon. Silly me, I try and work out what she's saying and I begin to question what is being said. Unfortunately, the very definition of 'rambling' means that the flow is nigh-on unstoppable. Suddenly, I find I am saying things like "but...", "hang on..." and "you what?" at an increasing rate. Eventually, Julie becomes tired of my interruptions...

What the hell is there I can say to that?? To be honest, I don't think even 'yes, dear' or 'no, dear' would work...

Spike, the lazy lovefool

It was a bit quiet at work today. Well, I say that, but I was was boxing posters for more than half the day. Yeah, thrilling, or what? At one point (don't ask me when, the day was all a blur), I decided to send my wife to tell her those three little words - with a small twist of humour.

Julie, however, was definitely on the ball.

Yes ma'am!
So much for romance! To be fair to Julie, though, she did soften the blow with a final 'lol!'.

Scrabble: a kind of kindly killing.

There are two board games that Julie and myself particularly enjoy playing together. One, as you well know from various (often alcohol-fuelled) posts on here, is Trivial Pursuit. The other one is that paragon of word games, Scrabble. There have been a few Scrabble-related posts on here, but not as many, and most of those are thanks in part at the very least to my father. If you feel the need to refresh your memory on these, then you can look in the tag/label list somewhere in that column on the right for 'Scrabble', 'Dad', or 'Dad and Julie'. I especially recommend having a look at the latter, because when those two get together, it's almost like spoken jazz - and often as unfathomable...

Dad wasn't around for the most recent game, sadly, but Julie did rather well all on her own - I managed to get down several Gems, but had to let a few of the more rambling ones slip by. Not only that, but Julie also managed to get a score of 70 points on one go - and that's not through putting all her letters down. It was just a good word in a good place.
My apologies to those of you who do not play the game, but those who do will know that that score is a decent little result.
However, the game was not without its tense moments...

I wouldn't mind, but she has the nerve to say I'm competitive.

A soupcon of soup and sun*

*Already, I have to admit to cheating a little with the title, all for the sake of a snappy tagline - read on for more details.
Oh yes, and while we're on the subject of cheating, judging by the viewing figures for my confessional bonus post yesterday, it would seem that a lot of you were expecting me to finally admit that I have been casting a great slur upon my wife's character and made up everything that I've posted.
So sorry to have disappointed you.


A few days ago, Julie was feeling hungry, but not hungry enough to be cooking a proper meal - and that's for the size as much as not being bothered with the hassle. After a brief rummage in the cupboard, she came out with a small microwaveable snack meal.

As you can see, it's most definitely NOT a soup.

In it went, and a short while later, PING! it was ready.
Julie must have been hungry, because, as I was putting some bread into the toaster, I heard her exclaim in pain.

That'll teach me to try and be sarcastic...