Oh, you're going straight to Heck for that one, kid...

Whoo!So, today is March 31st and the end of Julie's Gems' a-post-a-day marathon. I only dropped one day (due to ill health), for which I apologised profusely on Facebook. And for THAT, everyone chose to drop into sarcasm mode, saying how dare I be ill and/or miss a post?
I hope it was that, at least. While it's nice to have as many followers as we do, this site is a little young yet to be attracting the obsessive sort, surely?
In any event, today marks the final day of the March Marathon* and I thought it nice to end on a gently humorous note, and to give Julie a little break for the day. There isn't even any mention of Scrabble.**

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Long-term readers of Julies Gems will know that I (not Julie, not by a long shot) am a fan of comics, specifically webcomics. I have posted some examples in the past - only those, of course, that fit the admittedly broad definition of being a Gem. Have a look at these examples, and you'll see what I mean.

Here's another one, one I have been waiting for just the right strip to post on here. Odori Park is a hemi-demi-semi-autobiographical strip*** about a small family (two parents, one young boy) who also happen to own a book shop. The twist is that Colin is US American and Arisa is Japanese. Normally, the comic is just cutesy and the humour is smile-inducing, but relatively slight. The art is nice and clean though.
This time, I was leafing through my bookmarks and reached Odori Park and immediately laughed out loud, whilst simultaneously wincing, and wincing hard. Put it this way, you know how Julie can be sometimes child-like in the way she phrases things? And that even then, children are the real deal and can offer up a full meal of non-sequiturs and still have energy left over for a large helping of bafflement. AmIright? You know it's true. See? There's a whole load of kiddie-related gaffes right here!
Anyhow, back to Odori Park and a prime example of how to bite the hand that feeds you. Almost literally.

WHOAH, kid! You are going to go hungry for weeks for that comment!
Just a little note; normally, Odori Park is presented horizontally, but if I presented it in that format here, then it would be far too squeezed and you'd end up not being able to read it. Fancy more? Trot along to Odori Park, then.

*Uh-oh. Now I have named it, that's it. It's formalised and set in stone. I'm going to have to do this next year, too.
** Whoops.
***Read the "about" section on the site. It makes more sense there.

Going beyond approximation

You know it's a good day for Gems when it's hardly worth putting the notepad and pen back in your pocket.

Case in point; We were walking along the seafront. Just in front, there was a very young lad with his mother. Being young, he wasn't too steady on his feet, and it wasn't long before the inevitable happened...
Over he went and immediately - if not before - the caterwauling began. However, I have to give full credit to the mother. Apparently an old hand at this game, she efficiently scooped him up and deposited him onto a nearby bench, whereupon there was this little exchange.

"Right - let's get those shorts legs up and have a look at the damage, shall we?"
[the kid's wailing continues]
"See? Nothing wrong; no blood."
[The wailing cuts off like it was switched off] "No blood?!?"

Both Julie and me laughed at this. There was so much indignation in the young lad's voice; it had been a terrible accident - how dare there be no blood?
This was pure Gem as far as I was concerned, so I got pad & pen out. Now, I have to admit something here, something of a failing. I'm absolutely useless at guessing ages. If I'm within five years of a person's real age, then it's something of a miracle. So, pad at the ready, I turned to Julie...

See what I mean about it being a good day for Gems? Naturally, I needed to get this down too. I lose quite a few Gems this way, through not being able to keep up with events or simply not being able to remember how something went. If you have a flick through the posts tagged with 'rambling on', you'll see what I mean. Man, I need to get some kind of dictaphone... Either that or learn shorthand.

tata fer now!

Who's the daddy? Never mind that - who's the mummy?

I'm a selfish so-and-so. I like to sleep at night, do mostly what I want to in the evenings and at weekends, spend what little money I have in a manner of my choosing and, most of all, have Julie all to myself. Hence, I've never been what you could call a family man.
Generally, Julie does agree with me. Especially when it comes to the lack of money and sleep. There are occasions though when the sight of a little baby gurgling away, happy in the knowledge that the contents of its nappy are someone else's problem, will make Julie say, "Awwwwwwww!" and, sometimes, "I wanna baby!"
At such times, a steady quelling look from me will suffice to quash such feelings. Although it does have to be said that at our age, it's pretty much a moot point by now.

So, when Julie replies, "I'm pregnant!" to my request of  "surprise me", you will usually find me grimacing at such a time-worn rejoinder.
Not so this time...

In case you were wondering (like I was), Julie was referring to the possibility of surrogate motherhood. It's still a ropey link, but at least it's not nearly as bizarre now...