Spreading

There are many divisive topics of discussion. Politics is obviously the major area of activity, especially when you realise that 'politics' is not just anything to do with your government, but anything in life that has a meaningful impact on your your own life and those of the people you love (and, in the case of the abortion/sexual health situations, those of people who don't even exist yet. And may not).

Increasingly, people are becoming more and more overly opinionated about things that don't really matter, notably in the area of entertainment. And, for the record, I include all sport in that broadly-sweeping category. Why? Because when you get down to the basics, football (for example, he said, writing this on the day of the World Cup final 2014...) is not a job for most of the millions involved. And for those that are, so what? You are still only creating something to entertain the great unwashed masses (another quote mangled there*).

"I beg your pardon?"

Moving to the world of food (and I realise that some of you will now realise where this is going), it is oddly more cloudy. When you think about it, food is an essential part of life, so having an (informed) opinion about it can have a direct impact on the health of people that consume it. Eating something slightly out of date. Chili-eating contests. Fast food. Aspartame in diet drinks. Corn syrup in diet drinks. Marmite.

the offending article

Wait, what?

Some years ago, that reactionary and inflammatory rag of a newspaper known as The Daily Mail reported on a set of food products that were deemed in their pet scientists' (paid) opinions. Most of these foods were obvious, some of which I have listed above. However, tucked away in there was Marmite.

Horror of horrors, it seems Marmite is 11% salt! (full nutritional info here) That means that if you slather 100g on your toast you... wait, what? It seems someone has never eaten Marmite or has tasted it briefly and taken against it. In case you don't know, the black stuff is not for piling on like jam, Nutella, or peanut butter (blech). Seriously. If you tried eating 100g of Marmite in one go, you may as well call a priest for the lining of your mouth, as it would be stripped away like butter under a blowtorch.

This is where people get it wrong. Unlike the other spreads, Marmite is savoury, not sweet, and savoury generally means that it has more salt. Besides - have you seen how much salt is in bread? I bet you eat far more salt in that than you would in a single serving of Marmite.

Oh, and just for giggles, here is a link to a Daily Telegraph article commenting on how healthy Marmite can be.

As a company, Marmite are fully aware of how divisive their product can be. In fact, in Britain, a totally divisive subject is often known as a 'Marmite topic', and reactions to it range from this:

To this:

As I say, the company knows of this, and uses it extensively. In the past, they have gone for a 'political campaign' on behalf of the 'Love' and 'Hate' parties, but my favourite ads were drawings made of Marmite with the tagline 'you either Love it or hate it' (sic) scrawled on one side.

For the record, I hate Mr Bean.

In our house, the human population is split down the middle. I love it, Julie hates it, and we aren't going to let Roxy near it. Not if she wants to sleep in the same room as us.

It's fairly entertaining for me, as whenever Marmite is mentioned, Julie goes into a paroxysm of disgust. Some of this is a physical shudder, but much of it is a loss of sentence structure as she goes into a stuttering ramble mode.

Hiking through the hypothalamus

I have spoken before - a few times, actually - about Julie's tendency to get caught on a verbal loop and begin rambling, utterly the same few words or syllables - or similar ones. There is no way I can write those down with any accuracy, so just check out the posts with the 'rambling on' label.

Sometimes, these verbal loops tend toward the slightly manic, so I try to butt in and break the cycle. These days, all that happens is that I will say, "Julie...", and Julie will stop dead and 'complete'* the phrase with, "...shut up."

At first, however, all I could do was this.

(Hands up who misses Calvin & Hobbes...)

Recently, I broke a loop...

I know that feeling. In my case though, it's more that I zone out and it seems my brain has put up a note to the effect that it has gone for a weekend break....

"Screw this - I'm outta here."

*Please note that I have never told Julie to 'Shut up.' I love and respect her too much to do that.

Verbal and Legal

It appears I missed Wednesday. Shame on me - especially as I had a Gem ready and waiting to go.

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Last week, we went to a live show (as opposed to a dead one. That would have been boring). The band in question go by the name of The Illegal Eagles, so named because they are a tribute band to - well, it's obvious, really, isn't it? The show was excellent; all the musicians really know their stuff.

The band began eighteen years ago, started by the second and fourth gents in the picture. Over the years, there have been a lot of members, although some more permanent than others. The bass player on the right has been with them almost since the start. The newest - and youngest - member of the group is on the left. No, it's not Smallville's Lex Luthor, unless he has had a personality implant. He's a good addition to the band, contributing, as almost all of them do, to every section of the stage. Mind you, the real Mr. Diversity is chap #4, playing a variety of guitars, drums, vocals (including lead), and even saxophone for 'The Heat is on', played in the set's solo hits section. One each from Glenn Frey, Don Henley ('Boys of Summer'), and Joe Walsh ('Rocky Mountain Way'*).

You may have noticed that I haven't, until now, mention the third gent in the lineup. That's because he is the only one whose name I know off the top of my head; Keith Atack. Keith is the only reason that we were there. You see, Julie was massively into a band called Child when she was younger, and Child featured a couple of twins by the name of Tim and, yes, Keith Atack. Here's a picture of Keith (or is it Tim? Heck - they're twins...) to show why Julie was such an ardent fan.

Handsome, no? By the way, I had a little trouble searching for images, and I really hope Big Brother understands that my search term 'child singles' - in Images, no less - was innocent. After all, I really wasn't wanting results of Destiny's Child.

Back on track.

Some days later, we were out, taking Roxy for a walk and discussing the concert. I raised the point that TIE have been sanctioned by members of the original Eagles, in much the same way as Pink Floyd have approved The Australian Pink Floyd Show. It's something that has always made me smile to myself; I mean, 'The Illegal Eagles' can be a bit of a tongue twister on its own, without throwing anything else into the mix.

I have no idea if I did get it right, but it's as close as anyone would get. Julie herself admits there would be no way of repeating it.

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* 'Rocky Mountain Way is good, but I prefer 'Life's Been Good'.

World Book Night Fail II - the Techno-derp.

OK, so there we are trying to film a clip for our World Book Night free draw. Yes, we managed to get it together in the end, but there were a couple of problems. One was my poor delivery, and the other was my less than stellar ability with editing tools.

Mind you, Julie's grasp of technology seems to be even worse than mine (somehow...).

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Don't forget - you still have time to enter the free draw to win a load of books, CDs and other goodies!
Email us at juliesgems@gmx.com - and don't forget, this is open only to residents of Earth.

Say you, say me... say what?

Julie and me were talking the other day about her Gems. Now, the thing about situations like this is that even discussing the Gems tends to result in more Gems being produced. Obviously, this is not a problem - unless I find myself not being able to keep up, or I have left my notepad at home.
Sometimes, when Julie is in full flow, or has just come up with something especially mind-bending, I find myself clouding over, my brain having had some kind of 'blue screen of death'. It's at that point that my brain and Julie's seem to suddenly synch together.

This actually happened on this occasion; it seems that merely discussing Gems is enough to trigger a Gem-fugue in another person. Julie was concerned with making sure that she was given due credit for the things she had spoken, and I wanted to assure her that this was the case.

Did I say I wanted to emphasise it?
>cough<

Letters discuss the RSPB.

There is a charity based in the UK known as the RSPB - the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. In 1891, a few societies with similar aims merged to become the RSPB, and the aim was to prevent birds from being killed simply so ladies could have feathers for their hats. Later, the society's remit was extended to protecting birds and their environments, as it was clear that so much of birds' existence is dependent on the places where they live, feed and migrate.

In case you're wondering, the bird in the logo is an avocet.

More recently, it became painfully obvious that the RSPB needed to widen their focus even further; a neither birds or the flocks exist in a vacuum. Any locale is so much more than the sum of its parts; everything depends on almost everything else. So it is that the society now campaigns for the protection of animals, plants and environments in general, alongside the original focus of our feathered friends. In fact, they recently looked into whether they should change their name to reflect the widened aspect of their interests. However, it was decided that they would keep their name - partly out of nostalgia, partly because they felt it would show potential donors that they are not simply another environment charity, and partly to reflect their moderate emphasis on - guess what? - birds.

That said, and bearing in mind that the RSPB, along the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), is one of the biggest animal-related organisations in this country, pretty much everyone knows what the initials stand for.
So, when the question arose in a game of Trivial Pursuit, I was expecting Julie to rattle off the correct answer pretty smartly.

Silly me.

So Julie. What do the initials stand for?

Indeed.
To learn more about the RSPB and its work, visit their site.
Oh, and my humblest apologies for the terrible pun in the title.

Running and rambling

A while back, one of Julie's colleagues announced that she was going to take part in the Cancer Research Race for Life.

At the time, we congratulated her and didn't think much of it. After all, there is so much in the way of charity events taking place these days.
And then, in July last year, my father was diagnosed with a massive and aggressive brain tumour. Less than six weeks later, he died.
After that, our heightened sensibilities couldn't help but notice that so many people's lives had been touched by cancer. It's been tough, to be sure, but we're coming to terms with it now. Yes, we do find ourselves in situations that affect us. The first time I saw this video was hard for me, but I now see it as a positive thing.

Back to our friend. When she told us of her intention to take part in this, we wished her well and backed away. Not from sponsoring, but from the actual activity. You see, neither Julie nor myself are what you could term 'svelte' or 'athletic'. Not by a long shot. For my part, I like to walk; I'm built for a slow, solid pace and Julie is generally happy to accompany me.
Running? Uh... no, thanks.

Julie put it slightly differently, of course.

Heh. Dad would have loved that one.

Something in the way she derps.

Last week, we featured a Gem from the category of Trivial Pursuit, that board game version of a pub quiz. The question asked of me was "What language boasts the most words?" I got the answer correct (English) and then Julie came right out and admitted that her personal lexicon was somewhat less than extensive. During the short discussion that followed, we established that perhaps half of her word count was taken up by the word 'wotnot'. Most of the time, 'wotnot' will be a noun, one for an item whose correct nomenclature seems to escape my struggling wife. On rarer occasions, the 'w' word would take the place of a verb.

And when 'wotnot' features twice or more in a sentence, you know Julie has had something of a brain-fart and come up with a sentence where that word takes the place of a noun or two, a verb and, if you're really unlucky, an adjective too.
Mad stuff. "Wotnot - not even once."

I only bring this up, as it would seem 'wotnot' has a rival, of sorts.

Julie came home from her morning job one day, and it was patently obvious to me that some matter was giving her concern. When I asked her if she was alright, her reply was along the lines of, "Hmm? Oh, I'm fine, I'm just trying to remember... " However, she then pulled a face and tried to explain...

Well, that's cleared that up...

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PS - while writing this article, I wanted to avoid using the word 'something' too much myself. However, I couldn't think of one right then, so I went to synonym.com and had a bit of a chuckle when it turned round and told me that it couldn't find a suitable synonym .
Mind you, it was not much better at my preferred thesaurus site, thesaurus.com - there were a few words, but all were less than apt for my need. Oh well.

No, no, yes-yes, no

Every now and then, Julie seems to go into Gem overdrive. Or, as she puts it, "I'm having a mad five minutes."
Most of the time, these 'MFMs' happen at home, towards the end of the day. Tiredness does play a large part, it has to be said, but there is also a strong case for arguing the side of 'winding down after work'. I can understand that. I mean, if you've been on the go all day, then you want to put your feet up, both literally and metaphorically.

However, Julie will sometimes have an MFM while we're out and about. These are the occasions when I have to be very quick about writing stuff down, because the Gems come out so fast, they almost pile into the back of each other.
Naturally, Julie gets a bit miffed about having to stop every few feet just so I can jot down the latest Gem, so when I called our walk to a halt last week, my darling wife decided to make a comment. Unfortunately, she got a tad confused and it sort of backfired...

To tell the truth, I'm not all that sure myself...

The Weekly Wotnot Club

There's a pub near us that advertises a 'Monday Club'. Now, given that this pub isn't the most salubrious of drinking establishments, I would really rather not know what this club entailed. I wouldn't mind betting, however, that it doesn't involve a nice game of shove ha'penny. Shove broken bottle, perhaps.

Putting that aside, it's perhaps just as well we don't really want to go, as I'm not sure just when it takes place.
Well, I was.
But that was before Julie decided to put logic and sentence structure into a drug-crazed TARDIS and send the schedule bouncing around the space/time continuum like a rubber ball on steroids.

My head hurts...

The worms that turned... into something else.

Our family, as a rule, are very friendly towards wildlife. My mum has a large garden, and birdwatching is a hobby. It makes sense, then, to attract birds to the garden. At the far end, there is a pond, designed to attract various animals, insects and birds especially. One of my father's happiest and proudest moments was when a passing heron decided to drop in and inflict a massive casualty rate on the amphibian population. As I was quick to remind him though, just because the pond works for attracting wildlife, the bamboo he had planted nearby was very unlikely to tempt any pandas...

The more common means of getting birds to drop in is by a number of feeders, offering different types of foods. Seeds, nuts and fat balls.
Yes, let's get the sniggering out of the way shall we? This is what I'm talking about.

Balls of nuts, seeds, and or bits of various invertebrates, moulded into a spherical shape and held together by  fat.
Whenever we visit, we always try and take along some supplies, just so the birds don't go hungry. We're kind like that. However, asking for these supplies does tend to make for awkward conversations. Asking if someone 'wants fat balls' in a public place is guaranteed to earn you a nervous look or two.
Especially if you add the word 'Mum' to that sentence.
It's not all balls, though. There are also fat blocks, which are most usually filled with mealworms or insects. There are others, though. Some have fruit, some have seeds, but those aren't wanted.

Thus is was that Julie was out browsing some shops, and happened to go into one place that had a section for bird food. Once the obligatory muttered conversation about 'fat balls' was out of the way, Julie tried to find out just which of the different blocks on offer were the ones wanted by Mum.
And then the confusion set in.

I very nearly asked if they actually had blocks with ringworm, but then I decided I wasn't all that interested in finding out and rather hurriedly dropped the whole conversation...

You're just not listening, are you?

I'll be honest. Sometimes, when Julie goes off on one of her verbal rambles, I tend to tune out. This is especially true if I'm trying to read.
What I didn't realise, though, is that I'm not alone in this. Apparently, Julie also tends to pay very little attention to what she is saying...

Now, the keen-minded among you will realise that this means that a simple (but possibly foolhardy) application of logic will tell you that someone else may well be paying attention. This is true. Mind you, that other person may also be Julie.
Don't ask.
Just don't.

Unsure, to be sure

Picture the scene; Julie and me will be having a chat. Suddenly, a wild Gem appears. Julie uses Baffle! It's super-effective!

OK, Pokemon-style shenanigans aside, I will often have to override that little trip-switch in my head so I can get my thoughts together enough to be able to write the Gem down. Following that, we will often talk about the Gem or what was going through Julie's mind while the mouth was off doing it's own thing.
That's the point, you see; Julie has said this to me often enough, and I am quite prepared to believe it; her mouth has a mind of its own and doesn't like to take instructions from the brain. Unfortunately, this is often just as confusing for my wife as it is for anyone she might be talking to at the time.

And, to be perfectly honest, it doesn't help when Julie's mouth decides to chip in when she's trying to explain herself. Seriously - it's like she's having an argument with herself. Don't believe me? Try this Gem for size...

You know, I don't think I was part of this conversation...

That's what I'M talking about!

Here in Britain, we have been gradually switching our TV signals from analogue to digital. Essentially, it should give us more channels and a clearer picture. What it really meant was a lot of people suddenly finding that they can't watch the four or five channels they were happy with. Well, not unless they either forked out a small amount for a digital adapter, or for a new TV and/or aerial.

What with all of that, we were discussing whether it was worth our while switching our phone line/internet provider to someone that deals with TV too. We looked at details for a while, bit it evidently all got a bit too much for Julie. all those details, comparisons, offers, etc. Julie looked at me and tried to tell me what offer may have been the best - or was it that she wasn't bothered at all? Or maybe she meant something else? I was completely lost, to be honest. And it seemed I wasn't alone...

Uh....
...what..?

Venus in Blurred Jeans and other shenanigans

They say a week is a long time in politics. It's also a long time in science, weather, blogging and - more to the point - it's a long time for Julie to remember things that people may have said.

A week ago, the orbit of the planet Venus happened to pass between us and the sun, resulting in some first class pictures and a lot of scientific data. A little closer to home, where Jubilee mania was well and truly in full swing, the transit of Venus resulted in confusion and a somewhat baffling Gem, courtesy of one of my colleagues. This was posted on Friday. On the following day, Julie and myself were sat in the living room, and I asked if she had read the Gem yet. As it happened, she had, but - touching upon an earlier conversation we'd had - wanted to make a point about it. I was completely unprepared for the resulting conversation.

In other words, you have been warned.
Now read on.

I was absolutely speechless. Just when it seemed Julie couldn't up the 'Odd' ante any more, there she went.
Epic. Truly epic.

A ding-dong at the drugstore

Those of you who know me, know that I have a life-long problem with severe headaches and migraines. I have tried loads of things. Various preventatives, pain-killers, homoeopathic remedies (yes, I have been that desperate) and even a bizarre experience with a Chinese herbalist.*
Currently, I'm on pregabalin, which is technically an anti-convulsant and generally used in the treatment of epilepsy.

The thing is, pregabalin works by affecting the brain's electrical impulses and thereby has the serendipitous side-effect of helping to prevent and ease head-related pain.
Which is a good thing.
Of course, nothing I take is ever 100% effective, but it has dramatically reduced the amount of incidents I have had, and their severity.
Which is also a good thing. Especially since the HR department at work were taking a rather dim view of things.
A few days ago, me and Julie were walking into town, passing a small chemist (drugstore). It's not part of a large chain company, so it's sometimes limited in what it does and does not have in stock. Bearing that in mind, Julie thought to question me on the subject. Considering she was about to mention an unfamiliar medical term, it was with very unfortunate timing that Julie suddenly had an attack of The Rambles...

Count yourselves lucky - she could have said "Pregaba-labba-doo!"

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*Quite some years ago, before I met Julie, there was a family get-together in Southend-On-Sea. Everyone and his dog were invited. At the time, there was a core group of four of us that did most things together; me, my sister, my best mate and his friend, who was dating my sister. As I was unattached and my mate would have been left out, I asked if it would be OK if he came as my "+1".
Oh boy. The gossip and misunderstandings from that simple choice took years to die down.
That's beside the point though.
The family, over the years, has spread over a large part of England. Me, I was living in a small town called Thame, which is a little less than 90 miles away from Southend. The plan was that our little group would make our separate ways to Southend and then get together for a wander around.
We were in a shopping centre when we saw a Chinese herbalist. At that point, I was willing to try anything to kill the headaches up to, and possibly including, trepanning. We went inside and this woman started to take my details. When it got to my address, she suddenly became rather excited.


     "Thame? You know Thame?
     "Er... yes - I live there. Wh..?"
     "You know Piece of Cake?"
     "...yes...?"


It turns out that this Chinese herbalist in Southend visits, every now and then, a small town in the middle of nowhere, with the sole intention of giving talks on how to decorate cakes. And then yours truly wanders into her shop looking for a headache cure.
Don't you just LOVE coincidence?

What's a wotnot not?

I've said it before, and I'll no doubt be saying it again before much more sand has passed through the timer's pinch - context is everything. The stupid thing is this; the first time you saw me mention it, I was also bemoaning the fact that I had been quite short-sighted by jotting down only the Gem itself, and not the circumstances in which it took place.
Guess what? I've done precisely the same thing once more. In my defence, and looking at my notes, it seems I was struggling to keep up with Julie as she came up with Gem after Gem after Gem. It also doesn't help that I appear to have had my hands full at the time.

Again, if you have any suggestions as to what the missing/replaced words may have been, then feel free to comment below, or email them to us (along with your entry to the free book draw - hint, hint!) at juliesgemsuk@hotmail.co.uk
Personally, I'm actually dreading some of the answers here. No matter what I come up with for 'wotnot', there's nothing good for 'dubris'.

Say what??

That was close. I put this Gem together, all the time having this nagging feeling of deja vu, and finally committed myself to starting up a new blog post with the title above. Except that after typing the word 'say', I was then given the auto-complete option of 'Say you, say what?' With a sinking feeling, I trawled the archives in search of the post with that title, hoping it wouldn't be the same thing. That I had re-used something, having failed to cross it out before...

>phew<

As it happens, 'Say you, say what?' is a completely different post, one from the murky depths of time before I started getting cocky and adding pretty pictures to each Gem. Take a look.
Today's Gem admittedly riffs off a very similar theme, albeit set to a rambling time signature in the key of 'eh?'

You know what, love? It may well do, but I'm damned if I know...

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Just a few days left to enter the free book draw, folks. Just comment below or send us an email to enter.

Memory almost full - of WTF

OK, it's best that I get the news out of the way first - you're certainly not going to be in any fit state to take it in following today's Gem.
Regarding the World Book Night free draw for copies of Good Omens, I have made the executive decision to extend the time for entries for another week. This is nothing to do with the draw itself, but more to do with the fact I will be sending out the prizes on the back of my next pay packet. Ultimately, this means that any waverers now have a little longer to try and make up their minds, as the closing date is now Sunday, May 13th.
Go on, drop us a line at juliesgemsuk@hotmail.co.uk and tell us you want a free book. Or books and a watch. Actually, why not drop us an email anyhow? We like to hear from people. Tell us what you like or don't like about our blog, and maybe even suggest something or other. You never know, you may even have a Gem yourselves and want to see it posted here... don't look at me like that - it's happened. A lot.

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And now for something completely wotnot.
Today's Gem is all Julie and was a status update on her personal Facebook page.* The first I knew of it was that one of our mutual friends had commented upon it and requested - nay, demanded - that it be transferred here to make it official.
Anyway, no fannying about, here's the Gem. Make of it what you will, because I'm out of options...

Now, if you're anything like myself and our friend, you will have just spent the best part of five minutes reading and re-reading that, just to try and work out if the internal logic holds up.
In fact, if you're anything like me, you have also just developed a sharp pain behind your left eye and given it up as a bad job...

Have a great weekend folks (especially to those of you in the UK who now have a three-day weekend to look forward to. Barring people like Julie who work in hospitals and the like. My sympathies.)

*Don't forget that Julie's Gems also has a Facebook page. If you become a fan of the page, then you'll have access to all the Gems plus a few FB-only posts.

World Book Night 2012. Boy, do I have a video for you. Finally.

There have been a few trials and tantrums along the way, but we finally have managed to produce a video for you to watch.
Talking of watches, you'll see in the clip that we have yet another prize for one lucky person. In addition to the copy of Good Omens that all five people will be receiving, one especially lucky person will receive a copy of the excellent 'The Time-Traveler's Wife' by Audrey Niffenegger AND... well... just you wait and see - all will be explained. And demonstrated.

World Book Night 2012. Boy, do I have Good Omens for you. from Spike Matthews on Vimeo.

Well, there you go! Our generosity knows no limits, does it? So, what are you waiting for? Christmas? Pah - it's going to come early for one lucky lad or lady. Just send an email to us at juliesgemsuk@hotmail.co.uk
Oh, and if you think that having a copy of Good Omens disqualifies you from entering, may I remind you of two things. Firstly, there are some extra features that your copy will not have; interviews and a snippet from a book the authors recommend. Then, too, the whole idea about World Book Night is to share your tastes, so you are actively encouraged to pass the book on for somebody else to discover and - hopefully - enjoy.

Don't forget, the closing date for entries is a week Sunday, which isn't really that long, is it?
Tata and good luck to everyone.!