It's time for a guest spot; Sam is a frequent visitor to this blog, although this is the first time she has been mentioned by name. One of Sharron's daughters, she seems to delight in coming up with the most innocent, knowing - and way-out-there - phrases. Today, it seemed, there was a conversation going on, although it was fairly one sided. Never mind that neither Sam nor her mother could strictly be classed as being present at the time...
This might actually ring a bell or two with various members of my family, as I am well known for being able to hold a conversation with someone while I am asleep. As is my sister. Yes, we managed to have a conversation with both of us being asleep, apparently. It was enough to turn a mother to drink...
So, one Gem on, I was feeling pretty flaked out and Julie suggested that I have a proper nap. This I did, although I wasn't expecting to sleep for real; I have the be very tired for me to be sleeping upright in a chair. Something woke me with a start - as it happened, it was Julie coming in to say 'bye' before she went to work an evening shift at the hospital. Blimey - I must have been tired to have slept so long. And so deeply, too. Julie had had time to sit, read her book, do a sudoku and then leave to get changed and fix herself a drink and a snack before leaving.
And I slept through it all.
One thing did concern me, though. I snore. I can snore loudly, too. (Julie also snores, something she vociferously and repeatedly denies, despite the evidence and witness reports. And the fact she's the only person I know who can wake themselves up with their own snoring)
My first concern upon waking was that I hadn't forced Julie out of the room with my nasal noises.
Er. Thanks? Especially for making sure I'm wide awake.
A few months ago, we and some friends went to see a comedian by the name of Milton Jones. He's ... odd. Odd to look at, with his unruly, gravity-defying mop of hair and natty line in Hawaiian shirts, and odd to watch. Very bloody odd. Have a look at him performing some of his finest and most surreal one-liners..
Apologies to those of you falling foul of the 'sorry, but you can't watch this in your country, nya nya nya!' syndrome. To those that watched it, you'll understand completely why Milton is one of Julie's favourite performers.
After the show, we drove home and chatted about the show and other things. Somehow, the conversation turned to sleep and sleep-walking and so forth. This reminded me of something I am apt to do quite a lot, much to the consternation of various people. Not that Julie was that impressed, as she then tried to outdo me.
There was silence for a few minutes after that one as three of us tried that one from various angles. The fourth one was still trying to start the mental engines, I think... I mean, I know you can hear things while you sleep. It's what wakes us up in the middle of the night or the morning (sometimes - see a forthcoming Gem), so we can get up for work. But, to actually listen? To make sense of what you hear?
Then again, I guess it's possible. After all, considering I can actually hold a coherent (if bizarre) conversation with someone else as I sleep, then I suppose I must be actively listening. I'm serious. You get me at the right time, and I'll freak you out completely.
For example, when I was younger and still living at home, my mum heard me and my sister talking. Loudly. Well, we had to - we were in separate rooms. Coming up the stairs to see what the shouting was about, my mum poked her head around my door - the first one she reached.
Are you alright?
Yes, Mum. Why do you ask?
I was totally asleep (as was my sister, apparently), and to answer my mother, I turned my head to face her and replied - without even opening my eyes.
Poor Mum. She had to go and have a large rum & coke to steady her nerves...
