Watching me watching them watching me... what?

My folks came to visit last weekend. It was Easter weekend, so it was a nice long break and the weather was gorgeous. We went out and about a few times, but the evenings were almost always the same - we played a game or two of Scrabble.
Now, the thing is, we're all fairly competitive - but only in the sense that each of us wants to do the best we can with what we have on our racks. This is all well and good except when we have sets of letters that are either abysmal (all vowels/consonants etc) or very promising and the board layout is abysmal. This is when you'll find lots of heavy sighing and much shuffling of letters. In Mum's case, this is usually a warning to the rest of us as she'll more often than not put down a word that garners her a cool 30+ points.
My father, on the other hand, will 'Pffff' and say, 'Oh I'm in pickle, I am.' And then he'll put down a word that doesn't exist or is spelled incorrectly.

In the meantime, you will find exchanges like this one between Julie and Dad...

It's been a few days now, but I still have no idea whether that was a cracker of a zinger or a blank-faced fail. There's no doubting its entertainment value though. Dad, on the other hand, thought it was absolutely hilarious and went right into his 'Muttley snigger'. (it's not precisely the same. Dad doesn't wheeze so much pant between his side teeth (And if that description doesn't help, then I'm stuffed...).

Flexible/inflexible

Every now and then, Julie will come out with something truly paradoxical. If you look at each word and even (sometimes) some basic elements of what has been said, they will make perfect sense. It's only when you put it all together, look at it as a whole and compare it with what you know of the situation and of Julie that it becomes a real Derailment.*

See? Everything's going tickety-boo and then along comes that final phrase and suddenly you find your brain has gone all BSOD.**

*So called because a random comment from Julie can do to your thought processes what a tree-trunk across a line can do to a speeding locomotive.

**BSOD Blue Screen Of Death - massive PC failure for non-techies and smug Apple owners.

Roundly genetic

My folks have been visiting for the Easter break. It's been a lot of fun so far, especially with the banter we generate. We're all fairly quick-witted, and there are always some in-jokes we'll refer to to speed up the conversation. In other words, we're a pretty normal family.
Today, I wanted to give another example of Julie's wit and to show that she's not always baffling. On this occasion, we were all sat around the table, having a game of Scrabble. The conversation got around to how I had inherited certain traits from my parents, notably the fact I had got the heavy bones and build from my Mum's lot. However....

Feel that burn! Nice one, love.

Trivial Pursuit Week (3 of 3); Orifices and dual-nationality playwrights

You know you've got a belter of a Gem when it qualifies on several levels...

See? Not only is it the wrong answer, but even the answer is a 'fail' in its own right. I was so busy trying to reboot my brain I nearly forgot to facepalm it...

The final Gem of the week is of a certain medical bent. No more to be said, just enjoy.

An inspired answer, but it does rather beg the question why did Julie not manage to come up with 'eyes', since they generally are found in the same part of the body as the others... Ah well.

Hope you have a nice, long Easter weekend; see you Monday!

Trivial Pursuit Week (2 of 3); Swinging wars and sexy statues

Welcome back to Julie's Gems' Trivial Pursuit week. Don't forget, in addition to the normal post here, there will be a special bonus Gem only for followers of Julie's Gems over at Facebook.

Down to business, and straight in with our first one.

Have you noticed that there are a lot of times where Julie seems to be going fine and Gem-free - but then has to go one step further. I've actually found myself literally waiting for the Gemline, and if it doesn't turn up, I feel vaguely cheated.

Our next Gem doesn't follow this pattern, but falls right across the WTF/facepalm divide.

I mean come on - who can fail to be cranially fused by that one? The reason for this was that Julie had absolutely no idea what the real answer was and decided to come up with her own, far more entertaining one. Wouldn't it be funny if the Frenchmen who'd originally made Lady Liberty as a gift to the Americans had said to each other, 

"Hey, Pascal; how high up in the air did you say this was going to end up?" 

"Some hundred feet, Jean. Why?" 

"I was just wondering who the hell was going to read what was on here. What I mean is that I could hammer in some random letters - or maybe the Karma Sutra... hehe..."

"Heh. Jean, you're insane, but if you want to do it, then go ahead. Just don't let me see what you do, right?"

"Oui, Pascal, I shall keep it hidden from them. And from you."

Hmm - I supposed it's just a small mercy Jean never had a copy of the Necromicon...

ON FRIDAY

Bodily orifices and a dual nationality playwright.

Trivial Pursuit Week (1 of 3); Talking Italian & lots of wind.

On Saturday, we decided to have a night of playing Trivial Pursuit. In the normal course of things, this is always going to be a rich source of Gems. On this occasion, Julie decided to to partake of the grape. To put it another way, she drank a bottle of wine (some fizzy, cherry flavoured muck). The result? Enough Gems to gift you with a double dose each day - and a bonus Gem on Wednesday ONLY for people who follow the Gems Facebook page. (click HERE to visit the page and become a fan!)

So, without further ado, here's the first of today's little crackers.

I'll be fair to Julie here; as soon as I'd facepalmed that comment, she realised what she'd said...

Today's second Gem seems to have an interesting story itself. First, let's have Julie's take on it.

What?? Was the bugger land-surfing through a hurricane or something?

The name Webb was ringing a bell for me. I know that a certain Matthew Webb was the first person to swim the English Channel (or, if you happen to be French, La Manche), so I was wondering if Jonathan was some kind of relative and a-Googling did I go. 

The result? Distinctly unclear, if not downright opaque. I could barely find a trace of our hero and the little I did manage to find had been thoroughly trolled. It seems Jonathan had indeed been the Grandson of the swimmer Matthew, but some correspondent had obviously been having a little fun at the expense of the forum posters by indulging in a little troll science. Take a look at the relevant part HERE - but scroll down to the larger, blue-type section about half way down the page.

COMING UP NEXT TIME:

Slow food during war and the reason for Liberty's enigmatic expression.

Multiple personality disagreement alert.

Julie is fairly aware of what she does, but finds trouble in stopping herself from doing it. Her usual explanation is that her mouth goes faster than her brain and has to make stuff up while the next instructions come through. This is all well and good when she's with me or my family, but it does make her feel a little self-conscious when she goes off on one of her little mental trip-outs in public.

Or, as Julie herself put it....

Luckily though, Julie does enjoy the notoriety these Gems bring, so we're not going to be running short any time soon.

Have a great weekend!

Spike.