"Hello and welcome to Eastbourne District General Hospital, how may I help you? Oh, you're visiting someone, you say? That's nice, although I'm not sure you will be able to take those flowers on to the ward, because of the need for sterility. I'm sure you can see our position. Oh, and please don't forget to make use of the hand sanitisers you'll see around - yes, the are a couple of wards closed at the moment because of contamination. Well, from what I was told, it's down to visitors bringing in the bugs with them. Some people... um... aren't as clean as they could be and then when they start touching things, the bugs stay on there and then other people who were clean when they came to the hospital come and put their clean hands on the door handles, rails, trolleys, wheelchairs - you know - and then they pick up those nasty bugs and start spreading them around without realising it.
Oh, I'm so sorry, what ward was it you were wanting to visit? Hailsham-4? Oh, that's nice and easy. If you go down that corridor, turn left go on for three junctions, turn right then left again, up the stairs, go right twice, all the way to the end of the corridor, take away the number you first thought of, jump up and down, wave your knickers in the air....."
"Oh dear, Bert, I think we're lost. I'm sure we've been along this corridor twice already. Oh look, there's someone; she looks competent enough with that uniform, let's go and ask her..."
As you may have guessed, poor old Bert and Flo, now even more confused, had had the misfortune to run into Julie, as she was pushing her food trolley along the corridor. In fairness to Julie, the hospital is large and the corridors do all look the same. Not only that, but my wife hadn't been working there for all that long when this took place; in fact, I reckon that was what Julie had meant to say all along, but a couple of words got left out.
Talking of words - how about that 'geographillogical' in the title? I'm quite proud of that one.
Tata for now!