Since we began this blog a year ago (February 27th, to be precise - only ten days off), we have posted all manner of verbal oddities and withering put-downs, almost all of which come courtesy of my lovely wife, Julie. Time and again, she has baffled me, my family and now the world at large - but more importantly, we hope she has entertained. Many times, there will be that one time where everyone in the room has been in hysterical laughter. Just as equally, though, when you try and tell your friends, colleagues or just anyone who wasn't there at the time, you'll be convulsed with laughter while they're stood there looking at you like you just grew another head. Eventually, they will mutter something like, "I guess you had to be there," and make good their escape.
Of course, there are plenty of times where the tale does manage to survive the retelling - there are whole swathes of the internet dedicated to all walks of life, as we all know very well. However, we would like to believe that only Julie has the personal capacity to carry this off on an almost career-like basis (Heh - wouldn't it be grand to be able to earn a living just for being a Gemmer?). As I have lamented on many occasions, both here and in the outside world, there have been terrible losses, due to my inability to recall or record some of the finest rambling Gems known to man. However, the great lady shows no signs of veering toward that fusty road marked 'Normality'. Even if she did, then I'm sure the prospect of a glass of wine would tempt her to stray once more to the one, true path.
That, and I have a great wadge of hastily jotted Gems, all as yet unpublished. Don't worry, you're not going to be bored for some time yet, we hope.
For today's offering, I thought it best that we offered Julie some respect and an opportunity to express herself clearly just how she feels about her possibly unique abilities. After all, many people in her situation would feel very self-conscious about it all. Not just that they would be spouting all sorts of bizarre things, but that their loved one would be sat nearby, slavishly scribbling down everything they say.
Attagirl. Bold as brass and twice as large as life.
With that, I think it only right that I leave you with a little ditty.